The Zen of Otto

"He tried to be good."

Comedy/Thriller with a Soul

Nominated for a Fade In Award —Coverage Comment: “Massively entertaining.”

Logline: In the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, a hitman who believes in reincarnation wants to rid himself of bad karma after he falls in love with his intended victim.

Summary: Otto is a hitman who poses as a New Age monk all over the Rocky Mountains — but he’s bored. After his last hit, he tells his dispatcher: “Every week, same game, different town. It’s monotonous.”

Otto is determined to quit the hitman profession. He wants to find a new career path and shed himself of bad karma, for he doesn’t want to be reincarnated into a goat, spider or even a rock in his next lifetime.

But when the unscrupulous owner of a mountain lodge offers to hire him for a hit with an extra benefit, Otto cannot resist.

Otto’s mission is to romance the beautiful, strong-willed Tea Rose Rock, a waitress at the lodge and rightful heir to the Sebastian Rock family fortune. Otto must pump her for information to find the legendary Sebastian Rock buried treasure of gold — and then do the hit.

The problem is, Otto falls in love with his intended target after they have sex in the lodge’s kitchen. A video of it goes viral, causing Tea Rose to lose her job. She rides her horse to Otto’s campsite and moves in with him.

Now, Otto must decide if he should keep the gold for himself when he finds it, do the hit and take on more bad karma — or prove his love for Tea Rose by giving her the gold, while accumulating good karma.

The twist: Tea Rose does not believe the legendary gold exists. But after Otto cheats on her by sleeping with a pair of twins, Tea Rose sets a trap for him to find a fake treasure of gold. Frantically, Otto searches for it, trying hard to prove his love for her. But all gets is dirt covering him from head to toe.

Now, who’s the chump?

Spectacular setting: An historic goldmining village surrounded by millions of golden aspen leaves that shimmer in the sun.

The Devil Plays Bingo

"Love is hell. And then you die."

Elevated Horror/Comedy

Logline: A casino in Hell is rigged. Devils bet on cars about to crash back on Earth. But when a newly fallen soul realizes he was killed in one of those crashes, he sets off on a head-spinning journey to find the devil who made the crash happen.

Summary: The hottest vacation spot in Hell resembles Los Vegas. Carlton is shocked when he lands there. But as a high-roller himself, he’s thrilled to spend all eternity doing what he loves most: gambling.

He wonders in to “The Bingo Room,” a boutique betting parlor, where devils bet on how many bodies will die in a car crash back on Earth.

But as he watches a presumed “live feed” of a car crash about to happen, he sees himself in the driver’s seat — along with his pregnant girlfriend by his side.

That’s when he realizes the action on the screen is not a “live feed.” It’s video.

“This game is rigged,” he shouts to a mob of devils. “That’s me who crashed in that Ferrari.”

The mob turns on the croupier-devil who owns The Bingo Room. They grunt, growl and grumble.

Carlton shouts out: “He knew who was going to die before you placed your bets. He cheated you. And me. He killed me. And I don’t deserve to be in Hell.”

Chaos ensues, leaving, an old devil to lose his head. Carlton helps to screw it back onto his neck, and the two become fast friends.

They team up and head back to Earth for an epic chase of the devil who cheated them all — and to find Carlton’s pregnant girlfriend who is still alive — but in danger.

Hula

"It takes a village to hula."

Dramedy

Logline: Ancient Hawaiian wisdom cannot tame a raging diva when she’s replaced by a shy gay man to perform the fire dance in the Big Island’s Hula Competition. Aloha!

Logline: In a remote Hawaiian village, a tight-knit hula dance troupe practices ancient traditions and worships mythical gods. But when a popular diva is raging mad when she’s replaced by a painfully shy, yet fiercely talented gay man to perform the fire dance at the Big Island’s Hula Competition. But will he get over his stage fright in time?

Summary: The story of Hula spans generations. It is centered on a modern-day dance troupe in a remote village that practices ancient hula rituals. Daily life revolves around the worship of nature, ancestors and gods from Hawaiian mythology. And naturally, the ongoing struggles of love relationships.

At the center of the action are two couples – one openly gay, the other straight. Both couples struggle with their relationships. Their fights heat up when their personalities collide in comedic situations.

Keahi is shy, but a talented fire dancer. His partner, Makai, is outspoken and pushes him to be a star.

Hoku is a self-absorbed diva who often misinterprets her fiancé Caleb, the only non-Hawaiian in the village who blogs about the curious beliefs and cultural practices — like sucking rainwater from leaves.

Both couples are counseled by the wise director of the dance troupe, the kuma hula. Everyone in the Village is considered to be family and every aspect of the hula lifestyle extends beyond the stage.

But love is universal no matter the culture. Customs, beliefs and dance forms may be unique to Hawaii, but relationship struggles are familiar to anyone who’s been brave enough to venture into the entanglements of true love.

Notes: Plenty of drama, but humor arises from two bickering couples and a bully who’s jealous and likes to taunt them.

Well-researched traditions, customs and authentic Hawaiian names, which symbolize their place in the story.

Favorite coverage comment was about a whale scene where the protagonist attempts to rescue the drowning bully — and both get carried away on the back of a whale.

Blue Moon

“Making babies is a competitive sport.”

Action/Comedy/Fantasy

Logline: A childless California couple and a childless New York couple desperate to conceive, battle each other to be first to get knocked up. But they need to follow an ancient fertility rite that guarantees conception and ride a whale when the moon turns blue.

Summary: On a mystical island in the South Pacific, BoAnSa — short for “Bossy Ancient Sage”— is lonely. Her only friends are exotic animals that overrun her sacred turf.

She longs for human companionship and needs to repopulate her island. She must find couples who want to start their families — but cannot conceive.

As the last fertility concierge left on the planet, only BoAnSa knows the secret ancient ritual that guarantees conception: to ride a whale when the moon turns blue.

To find pairs of baby-makers, she conjures up a whacky TV game show called The Last Resort, where two couples — one from California, the other from New York — compete to make their baby dreams come true.

But calamity ensues when the couples are whisked away to BoAnSa’s Fertility Island. Worse, personalities collide in an east-coast vs. west-coast culture clash.

Their marital issues rise to new levels, threatening to dissolve their desire to finally get knocked up.

Neither couple was expecting to face an animal stampede, a campsite fire, and a tidal wave that sweeps one of them out to sea. They need to get along and work together to save their very lives.

But their mission remains clear: they must compete in the ancient fertility ritual that guarantees conception.

But only if one of the couples can ride a whale when the moon turns blue.

Chasing Mason Figg

“A Bouncy Soap Opera.”

Comedy/Pilot/Adaptation

Won a John Hughes Award

Logline: A dance-crazed con artist turns an entire village upside-down after he ropes his saintly girlfriend into a madcap scheme to swindle a lottery winner out of a fortune.

Summary: Mason Figg is a con artist with a gift for dancing. He cooks up a madcap scheme for swindling a loudmouth lottery winner out of a fortune.

But when he ropes his naïve girlfriend, Valentina, into his plans, a chain of calamitous events unfolds, involving love triangles, mistaken identities and high-stakes thefts.

Fortunately, during a botched diamond heist, a neighbor of the lottery winner sees Valentina scampering down a getaway ladder. He befriends her to find out if she’s really a thief — or one of Mason’s dupes.

The neighbor has already figured out that Mason is no good. He knows all about Mason’s side-hustle, romancing wealthy housewives and teaching them to dance. He also learns that Mason insists his paramours each call him “Jou Jou,” French for plaything or toy.

By the end, all of Mason’s secrets spill out. So do all the zoo animals on the lottery winner’s grand country estate.

A media circus captures every twist and turn. The animals run free. Valentina is shocked. And the housewives still vow to always love Mason, the man they all call “Jou Jou.”

The helpful neighbor confesses his love for Valentina who confesses she loves him, too. No longer does she have hopes for Mason who has disappeared from the crowd.

To this day, Mason Figg is still on the run…

Works in live action, animation or blend of the two.

Take Me to Tallulah’s

“Sex never goes out of style. Unless the gentleman drops dead.”

Comedy — Appropriately Dark

Logline: A commanding widow battles a fastidious attorney for control of a male escort service dispatching old men, after too many gentleman callers keep dropping dead — three of them at Tallulah’s house.

Summary: In a little-known California beach town, the women outnumber the men by fifty to one. All are wealthy widows of every race, culture, shapes and sizes.

Much to their dismay, they’ve outlived their husbands and long to be loved — if only they could find the right man. But they’d settle for just a cuddle.

Fortunately, Archibald Twigg is an attorney who runs a male escort service on the side. Sadly, his stable of gentleman callers are old men, but they’re the only men left in a town.

The problem is, the old fellows keep dropping dead on the job — three of them at Tallulah Spearhead’s house.

Despite her age, Tallulah is a gorgeous widow. Upon first sight, the men sent to her by Archibald’s escort service are so taken with her stunning good looks — they get overly excited – and have heart attacks — and drop dead — on Tallulah’s front steps.

Have they taken too much Viagra? Or was it their shock that an older woman could be so lovely and literally take their breath away.

After the third gentleman caller drops dead, Archibald tells his driver, “Take me to Tallulah’s.” He’s determined to find out what’s going on.

Unfortunately, diplomacy goes by the wayside. Archibald and Tallulah have a knockdown, drag out fight.

And Tallulah takes over the escort service, determined to fix up the old men, giving them head to toe makeovers.

After they acquire appropriate grooming habits and manners, Tallulah announces they’ll appear at a bachelor auction at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

Now, the women must out-bid each other to win the gentleman caller of their dreams. But at last the ratio of women to men has switched. And the old widows have their pick.

Mayday Sings for Her Supper

“She sings. Her sister gets rich.”

Comedy

Inspired by the Britney Spears conservatorship debacle, but with a comedic edge:

Logline: When a crumbling country estate has overdue taxes, a diva discovers her dim-witted sister is a musical prodigy and manipulates her to perform to raise funds.

Summary: Sarafina Ham is frantic. She’s late for her appointment with the tax assessor, but can’t find a thing to wear.

She yanks clothes off hangers, holds them up to the mirror, then tosses them all over her dressing room.

Her smug butler lets the clothes pile up. Calmly, he selects an outfit — then displays it for approval.

Sarafina swoons. The butler dresses her. She admires herself in the mirror — then scowls at the mess of rejected clothes on the floor.

“Clean up this mess before I get back. Or I’ll have no choice but to find a new butler.”

“One who’ll work for free, I presume. Like me.”

But Sarafina dashes away. She stops short on the staircase — covers her ears. Piano music is playing. The talent is masterful, but Sarafina doesn’t think so — at least not at first.

The butler appears. “Your sister would work for free. Put her in front of an audience at Carneige Hall, and she’d make enough money to pay off your tax bill — with a healthy sum left over to pay me.”

Sarafina smiles. She glistens with greed. Her money troubles could be over. She just needs a way to make her sister a star at Carneige Hall.

But her plan turns out to yield more than her lofty vision, when her sister, Mayday, becomes a rock star and rises to global fame.

Jafford Ames

“He loves tennis. He loves guacamole. But will the woman he loves ever love him?”

Pilot: Comedy Sports Romance

Logline: A fun-loving tennis champion charms the media, wins endorsements deals, and infuriates a jealous rival. But can he win the heart of a Mexican restaurant owner who’s unimpressed by his fame?

Summary: Jafford Ames — a.k.a. “The Jaff” — is a wildly popular tennis star — on and off the court.

Fans idolized him not only for his hotdog tennis shots, but also for his wisecracks, perpetual smile, and many endorsement deals.

His jealous rivals call him “the bad boy of tennis” and plot to take him down, while videos of his escapades go viral.

The paparazzi forever chases The Jaff as he drives away in his vintage-cool 1971 VW Super Beetle – laughing all the way.

Only his pushy agent knows his weakness – that he secretly loves Valentina, the no-nonsense owner of a Mexican restaurant who is unimpressed by The Jaff’s fame.

She’s too busy caring for two young children — and keeping her business afloat by making tortillas from scratch and the best guacamole on the planet.

I’ve Got Headshots

Her fans want to be famous, too. And they’ve got headshots.”

Action/Comedy

Logline: A popular, yet washed-up comic actress runs around town claiming to be chased by criminals. But everyone laughs, thinking she’s promoting a new movie. They bombard her with the same question: “Hey, will you connect me with an agent? I’ve got headshots!”

Summary: Glenda Hargood was once a popular comic actress with numerous film credits to her name. But when work dries up, she downsizes to a small, crumbling apartment in Hollywood.

After she moves in, she witnesses her neighbors committing a crime. Her landlady doesn’t believe her and refuses to break the lease. That is, unless Glenda would agree to a deal:

“Get me an agent. I’ve got headshots.”

Glenda can’t even land a job for herself. Her movie career seems to be over. When the bad guy neighbors realize she’s blown their cover, a madcap chase ensues, sending Glenda all over town.

Unfortunately, no one believes Glenda’s claim. Everyone thinks she’s rehearsing a new role or promoting a new movie.

She’s hounded with the same question from friends, a hotel clerk, strangers on the street, passengers on a train, and even the police:

“Can you connect me with an agent? I’ve got headshots.”

Desperate for safe ground, she camps out in a jail cell, a health club — and even a soundstage, thanks to an eccentric but loveable director who can’t distinguish between reality from the movies.

She later rushes the stage at a comedy club’s open mic night, where her surprise banter with the MC is perceived as a performance. Video goes viral on social media. The bad guys who chase Glenda know exactly where to find her.

So does a handsome detective who believes Glenda’s story — and wants to break into the movies himself. Just like the others on Glenda’s journey, he wants an agent. And he’s got headshots.

The Pimp Takes a Wife

What she didn’t know…

Dramedy

Logline: A pimp living a blissful married life secretly recruits strippers for his online peep show business, while his angelic wife believes he only sells pots and pans. She loves how he cooks all the meals and throws dinner parties for their friends — many of whom know about his dicey-spicy business.

Summary: Harper’s father doesn’t approve of her marrying Jesse Johnson. “You’ve spent years earning a master’s degree in social work. For what? To marry a guy who sells pots and pans? I thought you wanted to save the world.”

“He. Saves. Me.” Harper beams. She’s madly in love with the devilishly handsome Jesse. “He fills me with joy. That’s better than money.”

“Let me hear you say that when you struggle to pay the rent. And do not ask me for a down payment for a house. You’ll never have a house with the Pots and Pan Man.”

Harper and Jesse marry in an outdoor ceremony in a park, then move into an apartment where Jesse works from home. Only, he’s not selling kitchen wares online. His Diva Depot is the hottest virtual peep show on the internet. Home entertainment professionals with hourglass bodies flood his email with nude pictures — each begging to be part of his peep show team.

Despite his hard work, Jesse manages to cook up a storm, treating his bride to gourmet meals every night as soon as she arrives home from work, hungry. Getting the homeless, orphans and drug addicts off the street is exhausting, but fulfilling life’s work.

Jesses greets her with a kiss, takes her tote bag and hangs up her coat. Then introduces her to a few new friends. But he leaves out that the “wives” are his newest recruits, and the “husbands” are first-time clients.

The Night I Was Rescued by the Magnetic Sea Spray Force

“Ask for help and the stars delivers”

Children / Adventure

Logline: A long parade of quirky characters lend a hand to help a frightened little boy escape from scary creatures in his bedroom, until a mysterious, yet loving force rises up from the oceans of the earth by the magnetic pull of the stars in the heavens.

Summary: Joe doesn’t want to go to bed. But he must. The sun has set and it’s time to sleep. But can’t sleep. Monsters are having a poker party in his closet, and the witch under his bed is growling. He slips under the covers on his bed, but only pulls them up to, but not over, his eyes.

He can hear traffic outside his window. One car after the next and the next zoom by. Joe jumps out of bed and rushes to the window. And yells for help.

“Hey, somebody. Anybody. There’re monsters in my closet and a witch under my bed.”

Bernice Bobs Her Hair

    “I simply adore a scandal. It’s scan-da-li-cious.”

Comedy/Adaptation

Logline: In the Roaring 1920s, just as flappers were on the brink of becoming all the rage, an awkward young woman visits her popular cousin who transforms her into a diva – much to the shocking demise of one, but no remorse of the other.

Adaptation based on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short story, “Bernice Bobs Her Hair,” Flappers and Philosophers, Scribner, 1920.

Summary: On a steamy night in August, privileged young ladies and gents graciously blessed by the most favored of gene pools, gather at the most prestigious of country clubs for the Fin de L’ete Ball.

Their mission: To hunt for future husbands and child-baring helpmates, respectively, of course.

Donning custom-tailored tuxes and couture gowns, they scurry to their designated dressing rooms for last minute primps to their hair. Ladies check mirrors to assure their styles de la soirée do not have a curl or bobby pin out of place.

As for the gents, they have hair rituals of their own. They turn their well-crafted heads left-right-left to see the best angles, while lavatory assistants stand by holding combs presented on starched white towels.

Dowagers relegated to the sidelines observe the young people rushing by, and comment with wisdom acquired through decades of watching traditional mating games:

"“Every young man with a large income leads the life of a hunted partridge.”

Miss Marjorie isn’t worried. She already has her pick of suiters, Mr. Otis being the most desperate of the young bucks to snag her. How he worships her so. But Marjorie prefers to shop around and keep Owen securely tucked away on her overcrowded proverbial suitor shelf.

Unlike other girls of favored upbringing and familial class, Marjorie abhors how silly her female classmates behave without one scintilla of savvy for leveraging the fine art of conversation to their favor. Marjorie alone possesses the skill in directing flirtatious advances away from lesser competitors and onto herself. Naturally, she alone stands with erect posture, unlike the other young women who have the misguided tendency to slouch.

The only bee who dares buzz in Marjorie’s regal bonnet is her cousin Bernice. An awkward girl visiting from Wisconsin for the entire month of August before the final two semesters at Harvard, Yale and Princeton commence.

No young man worthy of his pedigree would bother with Bernice if Marjorie were not la belle of the country club ball. But thanks to her well-mannered cousin, Bernice does, indeed, have a date.

Sadly, Bernice’s designated dance partner ditches her, for the pathetic outsider is not altogether tongue-tied, but her conversation is woefully lacking in clever repartee. Worse, Bernice is one of those prone to the slouch.

Upon arriving home that same evening, Marjorie whines to her mother about how dreadful Bernice is and that no young man worth his familial standing would bother with her at all — had it not been for Marjorie’s prowess in social maneuvering and locating a date for the unfortunate cousin, however brief it was destined by fate to last.

Unbeknownst to Marjorie, Bernice accidently overhears her ranting to her mum. When the two youthful cousins meet the next morning at the breakfast buffet lavishly prepared by the household cook and set out by the household’s help, Bernice cannot stop herself from expressing her dismay over what should have been a private tete-a-tete between Marjorie and mumsy.

A feisty exchange ensues between the two young ladies. That is, until Marjorie points out what Bernice does wrong and what she should do right in order to secure an increased popularity quotient amongst an elite peer group.

Apparently, Marjorie’s social wisdom is not lost on Bernice. She is an eager learner and diligent in her determination to meet the high standards her cousin so generously, albeit brutally, set forth.

Bernice’s hard work pays off. Eventually, she outshines Marjorie herself — particularly in the art of clever conversation with boys.

All eyes turn toward Bernice upon hearing her announcement, expertly crafted to prove that she, like her cousin Marjorie, was born to be bold:

“I think I’ll have my hair bobbed.”

Upon hearing Bernice’s declared intention, the crowd goes wild. How clever that visiting girl must be to dream up such an outrageous idea as to bob her hair.

Flappers are just coming into vogue. Hemlines are rising. Worse, long locks are cut off with barely a hint of curl. But short skirts and bobbed hair would be deemed the mark of a wonton young woman, heretofore respectable and traditional. How daring of Bernice to aspire to keep up with trends to become one of them.

“It’s downright scan-da-li-cious,” one of Bernice’s new friends shouts as the rest of the group seconds the motion. “Do it. We’ll all come with you Now. Let’s go.”

At the barber shop, the youthful contingency gathers round Bernice as she is seated in the barber’s red leather chair. He flips an apron over her new, demure frock, and pulls out a shiny pair of scissors.

All mouths are agape. All eyes agaze. The once vivacious Bernice now appears to have cheeks that once glowed with a healthy rose color, now drained, leaving her skin paler than the face of the moon.

The barber is ready. With each snip-snip-snip of his scissors, no longer is the visiting outsider Bernice primed to replace her cousin Marjorie as the new queen bee. respect for the newest member of their restricted social circle suddenly takes a progressive turn down-down-down.

Alas. Everyone abandons Bernice. Including Marjorie herself who scolds her odd cousin for pursuing a hairstyle deemed common by those with fine breeding and generational class.

How in the name of decency could she had such a thought in her little head, let alone go along with such a foolhardy feat? It was downright scandalous, bringing shame not only to her own pathetic self, but to the entire family. They may never be more than a laughingstock in town.

Marjorie’s outrage leaves Bernice no choice, but to enact a betrayal that tops anyone else’s — and do so with perfect timing.

When Marjorie falls sound asleep, Bernice cuts off her long, curly locks — and quickly skips town.